Still Here

I am still here, but I am currently blogging over at The Busy Nothings with my SIL, her sister and another friend!  We have a lot of cool things happening over there and would love for you to come visit!  I will still post here every once in awhile, but mostly I will be over there!  Come see...

New Blog Address!

http://beingjoyfulitsachoice.blogspot.com/

Hmmm

Being reflective

..of my trip to Detroit as I sit in the airport, going through photos and listening to music.

Made some good choices?

Made some bad ones?

Cemented some friendships and fractured a few others...

Trying to figure out who am I really, seriously? At age 36 I am still trying to figure this out? Do others do this? Trying to figure out how to make what I think, line up with what I do, or more correctly, making what I do line up with what I think. Screw it...lol Trying to figure out if I want my life to be what I think, or what I do...That's the truth...

Some soul searching and goal setting is in my future for sure. Maybe some time at the cabin by myself just being reflective and honest...I am honest with others to a degree, but not sure if I am really honest with myself at all. Yes, a trip to the cabin. It will happen, and soon!!

Thoughts

Just a few random thoughts that I want to expound on at some point:

Sitting at my longest best friends work as she does 'her thing'...people watching and wondering about their stories and experiences.

Dealing with raw emotions, past loves, new friends, and letting go.

Balancing what is expected of me vs., what I am willing to give.

Handling my Vikings 0-4 losing streak...LOL (Okay, this isn't that deep really, it just makes me sad).

Expounding on my faith, what it really means to me, and how to allow my children to feel as if they have a choice.

Listening to others talk, really listening and not trying to find a place to be heard.

Excited about loving the people that are in my life and giving of myself to those that deserve that part of me, but at the same time distancing myself from those that don't 'sharpen' me, or make me feel like they are adding to my life in some manner.

Reading a couple books: "Losing Friends" by Digby Anderson, "Safe People" by Cloud/Townsend, and "Dummies guide to Scotland" (it is going to happen someday, and I want to be ready!)

Wanting to be the kind of person that isn't known for extremes, yet still being intentionally extreme in areas of my life.

Balancing work, kids, friendships, me time, family, hobbies and trying to work dating into the mix...

I have had a good trip in Detroit. More to come I am sure. Just didn't want to forget some of these things bouncing around in my head.

Have a great week!

A new beginning?

I don't suppose I have many readers anymore due to the fact that I haven't blogged in over a year, and the year before that was spotty at best.

I have been thinking about why I don't blog anymore, it was such a big part of my life. I came to a few realizations:

1) I was always dubbed the 'fun mom', and I don't feel like I am such a fun mom since the divorce.

2) I had time, nothing else to really worry about, and I am short on time now and full of things to worry about.

3) Facebook has over taken me...This is a difficult one. I have potential to be a deep thinker, and I enjoy that as well, but facebook status' keep people up to date in my life and I don't have to go into detail. I don't have to be introspective and that is a comfort to me at times. Not beneficial usually, but comforting to not have to deal with 'me'.

With that being said, I feel like I have some things that I need to get off my proverbial chest and I may do that in a private blog, sort through it and then delve deeper into some of the issues for you guys to weigh in on. A lot has happened in the last two years, I have made some good decisions, some not so good decisions and dealt with situations that in the past I would have handled differently, but am trying to make positive changes.

I am still 'choosing Joy', that is the core of me, that will most likely never change. Looking forward to getting some of this stuff out of my head!

Freaky Friday . . .

I know this is supposed to be 'Faithful Friday' . . .but this is mostly just to freak out a very special friend that has been a faithful reader of nothing for the last 7 months. . . .Here is to you LeAnn! I plan to be back in full force!!!

On a 'Faithful' note . . God has been answering prayers for me left and right, and it blows my mind how amazing His grace is! Looking forward to sharing . . .

XOXOXO

~sarea~

In keeping with theme . . .

Truthful Thursday . . . since technically it IS Thursday.

• Truthfully I have been staying up too late again.
• Truthfully I am at a good place right now.
• Truthfully I have some great friends that love and support me (and some that I want to hit with Menu's occasionally)
• Truthfully I have really opened up my mind to a lot of different things this year, some good, some bad, but I have also realized a lot about myself in the process.
• Truthfully I want to be in the middle of everything, but left alone. . .(yeah, I can't explain it either)
• Truthfully I wish I could give my kids a better Christmas this year, but at the same time I want them to realize what Christmas really is about, what better way than to have nothing else to do but talk about it?? lol
• Truthfully I don't deserve how great my family is to me. . . My mom and dad, my sister and her husband . . .They watch my kids, feed them and look out for me. I get teary eyed when I think about it.
• Truthfully it was a little weird sending out Christmas cards this year with a picture of just me and the kids. (I didn't send very many, just seemed not good timing I guess).
• Truthfully, blogging again is nice . . .I've missed it.

More later.

Okay . . .

Here it goes. . .

I am divorced. As of December 2nd, it was final. I moved out in May, and didn't rush into anything. I have peace about it, and stand by my decision.

I don't want to hear "I'm so sorry" . . .You don't know my situation.

I don't want to hear "Congratulations" . .because no matter how bad you think it was or wasn't, that is still 14 years of my life that is over.

I don't want to go out and celebrate it, because I don't feel like it is something that should be celebrated.

I don't want to have to explain it to everyone 800 different times, and re-live it over and over again. . . I am divorced, that is it. It didn't work out between us (and even though that sounds trite, you will not find me trash talking the father of my children).

I look forward to blogging again on a regular basis, I have missed it and I think it might have missed me a little too!

Since today would have typically (and since it is only 11:30 pm, it is still technically) a Manic Monday, I will proceed in that fashion!!

Well, I am still homeschooling the kids in the mornings and working part time Mon-Thurs from 2-6:30 at the local chiropractic office. My sister watches the kids on Monday's, my mom watches them Tuesday's and Wednesday's and my mother in law (can't bring myself to call her my ex mother in law, she means too much to me to do that) watches them on Thursdays. They are all very supportive of me working part time and have been so helpful and loving to me and my kids! I enjoy my job, but it has been crazy because I have been working full time for the last three weeks. The only other woman that worked there with me quit quite suddenly and left us high and dry . . .My boss is amazing though and we made it through. We have hired another lady and she seems to be doing fine so far. I have realized though that I am not a good teacher, I want people to get it as fast as I do, and understand it as quickly.

I just taught a CPR class to the local canoe club and that was fun! A great group of people and I am excited about maybe joining them on some of their adventures! I am going to post some random pictures of the last few months to catch you up to speed. . . Enjoy!

The kids and I on Halloween, dressed as football/baseball players!

Ethan just being . .well . . . Ethan! (I can't believe that he is going to be 7 next month!)

Garrett loved rock climbing, but I think he enjoyed rappelling much more!

Madison had a great time at Lincoln Lake with the homeschool group learning to rappel, rock climb and even got in a little bit of kayaking!!

So . . .

It's been awhile since I have written . . .I think I am ready to explain why. . . (but I reserve the right to change my mind at any time I so choose.)

Oh, wait . . First of all, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! I have much to be thankful for:

• 3 beautiful children (that I currently want to beat)
• an amazing, supportive and loving family
• friends (both old and new) that listen to me, love me and make me laugh
• Sonic ice (if you haven't tried it, don't knock it)
• My Lord that loves me unconditionally (I might feel a need to say this one twice)
• my Arbonne consultant (I love their product!)
• not having cable (although I miss Football, UFC and The Discovery Channel)
• my super nintendo (I love OLD SCHOOL video games)
• my air popper (for the best popcorn EVER!)
• since I said that . . Butter and Salt too!
• wood heat (I am loving my wood stove)
• my job and a great boss
• music (it fits every mood I am in!)
• and I was right . . My Lord . . .I so need to cling to Him more!

So anyway . . .I am going to wait on my reasons for not blogging as to not take away from being Thankful right now in this moment!

HUGS TO ALL!

My life...

Baptist . . .

So today was my first Sunday back to church in quite some time. I had been wanting to go back for a while, but was really feeling 'blocked' for many reasons. Thankfully the kids jumped on board and we did it together!! We attended "First Baptist of Prairie Grove", which was where I was going when I first moved here, but due to some issues I had with others in the church, I quit.
I had some reserves because of the "Baptist" label, but I was actually very pleasantly surprised.

Let me just tell you . . .

• The worship music was updated, (although I do love hymns).
• The atmosphere was relaxed and comfortable.
• There were the perfect amount of people, not so few you feel like an obvious guest, but not so many you get lost in the shuffle.
• The kids loved Children's Church.
• It was nice to see some familiar faces.
  

Now, let me say a little something about the 'sermon': (which was VERY interesting to me, and not typical, even for this church, as they are in the middle of a 'sermon series')
These are some of the things said, and people quoted today
(It was on "Jesus Among Other Gods")

• "Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda, Buddha" (pronounced correctly)
• Ravi Zacharias was quoted.
• Jesus Christ was quoted. (no brainer)
• Buddha was quoted.
  
• GK Chesterton was quoted.
• "nirvana" was talked about
  
• Nirvana(and I mean the band)

And some great points were made. I like the kind of service that is educational instead of hell and damnation. A double bonus?? We did NOT sing "Just as I am" as the closing song!

P.S. We will be going back. . .

Backtracking . .

Apparently, it is too overwhelming to think about blogging about everything that I have missed so far. . .so starting Monday I will start fresh! Looking forward to doing this again! ;-)

Behind . . .again . . .

. . . Story of my life.

Mostly I read other peoples blogs and think "they are so funny", "they are so smart", and I don't even compare, so why bother? But then I remember that I do this for me, so it shouldn't matter (but it does). Ugh.

Here are the things that I need to blog about:

• My trip to Detroit
• My sisters progress on the new house
• the end of ball season
• taking my first on line class
• Dad's Surprise 60th birthday
• 4th of July
• 5th of July (with some explanation)
• Giving swim lessons

Wow . . I need to get busy!

Um wow . . .

So, Detroit was fun . . .I am exhausted . . . I have been reading all my old journals and feeling sorry for myself . . .and I have a TON of stuff I want to write about and just don't have the time! I might have to schedule 'blogging time' from now on, just to get it done. . .

Miss updating all of you people that never comment on my life . . .hee hee . . .

Tid Bit Tuesday

• I leave for Detroit in the morning.
• I won't be back until Sunday afternoon.
• I am excited to see old friends.
• Garrett is in a baseball tournament.
• We played 2 games on Saturday.
• We played 1 game last night.
• We may play up to 3 games tonight.
• Did I mention that I leave for Detroit in the morning . . .

Until I return (and I will have plenty to post, I am sure) . . .Don't miss me too much!!

slb

Saturday

Well, we got to Oklahoma around 11:30 am . . .it was already pretty hot (with NO shade). Thankfully a friend invited us to sit under their pop up gazebo . . .it was heaven! We are totally going to get one!

The boys were ahead most of the game, but then it was tied. We entered overtime and scored one run . . .they got up to bat and ended up getting 3 runs to beat us by 2 runs. The boys were bummed, but not for long! We had a 15 min. intermission and got them in the shade for a bit and hydrated again . . . and we played game two! We ended up winning that game 12-2, and Garrett had a great ground hit into centerfield (short stop missed it). He was very excited!! Now we play again today at 3:30 pm and if we win that another game at 5!

I did get some sun on my arms and legs and hit the tanning bed after that. I fell asleep in the tanning bed, which is nice, UNTIL you are rudely awakend by the warm light going off and the cold fan still blowing on you. (Not to mention the loud click when the lights turn off!)

Faithful Friday

I have recently started reading several books by CS Lewis (Clive Staples Lewis that is) . . .I am reading "The Essential C.S. Lewis" and "The Great Divorce" (which incidently has NOTHING to do with divorce as we know it). I am enjoying it, as they are forcing me to use my mind which I feel has atrophied a little bit due to lack of use. . . (Let's just keep that little comment to ourselves)

Things have been crazy around here, what with everyone coming and going, but it is such a relief to know who really is in charge! I look forward to sharing more of what I read in the near future!

On a totally different note, here is the newest addition to the family. . .

Marbles

Isn't he adorable? He is a 6 week old blue heeler pup . . .Madison is ate up with him and the boys love how cute he is. If only I could create a drug to keep puppies . . .well, puppies! LOL I would be RICH!!

Here are a few of the pictures I took of an amazing sunset the other night . . .It was storming and it was beautiful!








We have a ball tournament for Garrett all day tomorrow and then a birthday party at the pool. The kids will be worn out! (Thank goodness!) LOL

Tid Bit Tuesday

Couldn't resist this . . .

I just started reading two new blogs and wanted to share them with you guys!

This First One is especially for LeAnn, and any of my other 'crochet friends' . . .I have only read three of his entries, but I am totally HOOKED!!

The Second One is for my fellow book readers . . .It is called Flannelgraph and it is a pretty catchy site! Go to the bottom and read about its origins . . . seems like a pretty great group of folks too, and there aren't like 500 of them or anything (YET) so now is a GREAT time to get on board!

P.S. We now have a new member of the family, a blue heeler that Madison has named "Marbles" . . .He is adorable and I will post pictures tomorrow! ;-)

Sunday . . .Where the time has gone . . .

So, here are a few of the reason that I haven't been blogging as much . . .

Mom and Dad got 44 chicks . . .they were adorable! However, we lost over 20 of them in a three day span due to a raccoon (that met a bitter end, but that is another story in and of itself!). They were grabbing them and pulling them through the chicken wire! It was crazy! They need to be fed morning and night and watered every couple of days. . .


Summit and Grandma took a look the day that we got them!



Harmony bought several puzzles at a yard sale (three to be exact). Here is one of them, but Mom and I ended up putting 3 puzzles together in 4 days! Click on the picture to enlarge it so that you can see just how crazy the pieces are, it was a real doosey! . . .Shhh . . . .don't tell Dad! LOL


Finally, I love to crochet (makes me feel less lazy while watching movies at night after the kids go to bed). Mom needed a few for some upcoming weddings, and I have a few that I did for some friends that just got new houses . . . I think they will like them!

So needless to say, I have been busy! However, I did start a baseball blog today and should have it finished and able to post for tomorrow!! Stay tuned!

My summers then vs. my summer now. . .

I had been managing the Prairie Grove Aquatic Park for 7 years, and my time was pretty much consumed from early April until the beginning of September every year. Last year was my first year to have a 'free summer' and it was nice. I taught private swim lessons for a little money on the side and the kids and I enjoyed just being lazy. (They missed non stop days of going to 'work' with mom, but managed somehow!)

The Good Ole' Days . . .Ethan, Nate and Garrett (back in the day)

This summer was my first foray into the craziness call Ball Season (that most families around here are VERY aware of). It was $50 per kid with a maximum of $100 per family. Since Garrett and Madison were going to play for sure, I thought "What the heck, let's sign up Ethan too, it won't cost any more!" Wow! Every Monday for the last 5 weeks (minus bad weather) all three had games, at three different ball fields, and sometimes in different towns! Thank goodness for grandparents that were willing to step up to the plate! It has been quite a ride, but the kids have had a blast!

Garrett is on a kid pitch baseball team and plays outfield. He just recently connected with the ball for the first time!! He was so excited and has improved by leaps and bounds since that first hit! He loves playing and just being part of the team!

Garrett is in the front row, farthest on the right.

My number 99 (the year he was born).

On 2nd base, getting ready to steal 3rd. Man, does he love sliding into home!! LOL

Madison plays fast pitch softball with some of her cousins and just loves it! She plays right field and 2nd base. . . she aspires to be a picture one day. She is the youngest on the team at age 8, but wants to move up with the girls next year when they move to the 12 and under league. Mark helps assistant coach her team and has really enjoyed it also!

My number 21 . . .(the day she was born!)

Team Photo: Mark is in the back row on the right and Madison is in the front row first one on the right!

Ethan plays tee ball and has played several positions but his favorite is pitcher and short stop. Watching his games is always entertaining as the kids are all over the place!

Look at that form! My number 6 . . .(the day he was born!)

Hitting is one of his strong points . . .

I have a 'ball bag' that is equiped with a first aid kit, bug spray, sun screen, my camera, the 'baseball bible', extra pony tail holders, sunglasses, sunflower seeds (just the regular ones, non of that 'ranch' or 'dill pickle' flavored stuff for me!), and an insulated tote with drinks and snacks.

At Garrett's games, I like to visit with Sharon Martin, she is refreshing, funny and wise. She also homeschools her children and is a valuable resource (with interesting tidbits of information, I might add!)

Mark and Sharon Martin . . .

At Madison's games, I have several people that I enjoy visiting with, but by far my top favorites are LeAnn, Lucy and Angie. LeAnn and I acutally visit and yell together, while Lucy makes fun of me for my ball bag and my sayings . . . ("Chin up young person!") LOL

LeAnn is on the bottom and Lucy is on top! Angie was missing this day . . .

At Ethan's games Crystal is always entertaining, as is Rachel and Dakota (the coaches mom and niece). No pictures of them yet, but I will get some soon!


I have a great time no matter where I am at, but trying to keep 3 sets of rules seperate and trying to remember all the names of the kids on 3 different teams can be taxing! I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING, and even though this is the last week of regular ball, I am already looking forward to next years craziness!!