Hmmm

Being reflective

..of my trip to Detroit as I sit in the airport, going through photos and listening to music.

Made some good choices?

Made some bad ones?

Cemented some friendships and fractured a few others...

Trying to figure out who am I really, seriously? At age 36 I am still trying to figure this out? Do others do this? Trying to figure out how to make what I think, line up with what I do, or more correctly, making what I do line up with what I think. Screw it...lol Trying to figure out if I want my life to be what I think, or what I do...That's the truth...

Some soul searching and goal setting is in my future for sure. Maybe some time at the cabin by myself just being reflective and honest...I am honest with others to a degree, but not sure if I am really honest with myself at all. Yes, a trip to the cabin. It will happen, and soon!!

Thoughts

Just a few random thoughts that I want to expound on at some point:

Sitting at my longest best friends work as she does 'her thing'...people watching and wondering about their stories and experiences.

Dealing with raw emotions, past loves, new friends, and letting go.

Balancing what is expected of me vs., what I am willing to give.

Handling my Vikings 0-4 losing streak...LOL (Okay, this isn't that deep really, it just makes me sad).

Expounding on my faith, what it really means to me, and how to allow my children to feel as if they have a choice.

Listening to others talk, really listening and not trying to find a place to be heard.

Excited about loving the people that are in my life and giving of myself to those that deserve that part of me, but at the same time distancing myself from those that don't 'sharpen' me, or make me feel like they are adding to my life in some manner.

Reading a couple books: "Losing Friends" by Digby Anderson, "Safe People" by Cloud/Townsend, and "Dummies guide to Scotland" (it is going to happen someday, and I want to be ready!)

Wanting to be the kind of person that isn't known for extremes, yet still being intentionally extreme in areas of my life.

Balancing work, kids, friendships, me time, family, hobbies and trying to work dating into the mix...

I have had a good trip in Detroit. More to come I am sure. Just didn't want to forget some of these things bouncing around in my head.

Have a great week!

A new beginning?

I don't suppose I have many readers anymore due to the fact that I haven't blogged in over a year, and the year before that was spotty at best.

I have been thinking about why I don't blog anymore, it was such a big part of my life. I came to a few realizations:

1) I was always dubbed the 'fun mom', and I don't feel like I am such a fun mom since the divorce.

2) I had time, nothing else to really worry about, and I am short on time now and full of things to worry about.

3) Facebook has over taken me...This is a difficult one. I have potential to be a deep thinker, and I enjoy that as well, but facebook status' keep people up to date in my life and I don't have to go into detail. I don't have to be introspective and that is a comfort to me at times. Not beneficial usually, but comforting to not have to deal with 'me'.

With that being said, I feel like I have some things that I need to get off my proverbial chest and I may do that in a private blog, sort through it and then delve deeper into some of the issues for you guys to weigh in on. A lot has happened in the last two years, I have made some good decisions, some not so good decisions and dealt with situations that in the past I would have handled differently, but am trying to make positive changes.

I am still 'choosing Joy', that is the core of me, that will most likely never change. Looking forward to getting some of this stuff out of my head!